The child who does not communicate with the parents does so for various reasons, more or less worrying. Either it develops harder, and communication skills appear a little later, or it has an emotional problem that prevents it from doing so. Find out what are the main reasons young children refuse to talk to their parents and how you can improve their communication with them!
Reasons why the child refuses to communicate with parents
Communication between parents and children is essential for strengthening the relationships between them, but also for the harmonious and healthy development of the little ones. The reasons for which the young child refuses to communicate with the parents differ depending on the age and the level of development he has reached.
At preschool or earlier, she will refuse to speak for reasons other than adolescent age, for example. Silence is a condition that creeps up on the backs of many parents, often associated with autism or other serious mental illness.
At very young age, the causes are varied and only in very rare cases are pathological. They are more concerned with the degree of development of the child and other aspects, related to how or not he is stimulated to develop his communication.
Lack of an interactive communication environment
The inability to express emotions and thoughts through words or other methods or to approach them in conversations can also be caused by the lack of an interactive family environment in which free speech and speech are stimulated.
When the child is not stimulated to speak, express their emotions and feelings and develop their language from an early age, communication gaps appear between you and him, but also between the little one and other people around him.
Traumatic or stressful events
Has your child recently experienced a traumatic event or severe stress? It is possible that if you have a more talkative child who becomes suddenly silent and isolated, one of the causes may be a change or an occurrence in his life, which could have affected him emotionally.
Moving home, changing schools, death in the family or the death of a pet, physical or emotional abuse - these are all traumatic experiences and may be reasons why the child refuses to communicate.
His reluctance to talk about those events is a defense mechanism, which protects him from certain unpleasant emotional states, which he prefers not to relapse.
Perfectionist or authoritarian parental style
When you are a perfectionist parent, who always has very high demands from the little one, it is possible that there is a communication gap between you and him.
The child is aware that you have high expectations from him, and if he can not rise to his height, he becomes frustrated and prefers to avoid conversations with you, for fear that he may not be disputed or punished.
The child may be silent because it is just his way of being and keeping his temper or personality, but it may be so because of an undiagnosed mental condition. There are a lot of mental illnesses where silence is a symptom, but the most common ones, at young ages, are depression and autism.
Of course, there must be other signs or symptoms associated with silence and social isolation for mental disorders to be diagnosed. But if the silence of your child worries you, it is advisable to seek the advice of a specialist and to make sure that your little one does not suffer from such a condition.
How do you encourage the child to communicate more?
The methods by which you stimulate the child to communicate more and develop their language and speech differ, depending on the age and the problems the child is facing. If you suffer from certain conditions or mental disorders, you may need the help of a psychologist. But if it is just about the pace of development and how it is educated in this regard, then you can take some important steps.
Try to communicate as much with him as he does when he is young. Encourage him to tell you everything - about what he does in the park or play, how he went to kindergarten or school, what his opinion is about a story or about the drawings he looks at. Listen to it carefully when talking to you. Sometimes, the child refuses to approach you in discussions and because he feels he is not listening or that he is not given the necessary attention when communicating with you.
Leave everything aside and just be eyes and ears for him when he has something to convey, no matter how uninteresting or boring it might seem. It is important to assure him that he can come to you to tell you absolutely everything and that only by communicating with you can you help him.
Also, when he is brave and tells you about an illness he has made or a bump in which he entered, he does not react aggressively, does not argue and even less, does not punish him. Only in this way will he understand that he can always call you when he needs help or has a problem, without fear that he will be admonished and disputed for it.
Always try to find out what he feels and what emotional states he goes through when you see him sad, withdrawn, silent. Ask him all sorts of questions about his experiences and the possible causes of his condition and see if you can identify the trigger factor.
In some cases, the child avoids communicating with his parents, because he has the feeling that what he has to say is not of interest to them. Sometimes, he just waits to be asked what happened, to show them that you care and that you are interested. Do not insist very much if he does not want to tell you what he feels. If you tried to convince him to speak and you did not succeed, do not insist. But make sure you are there for him, if he needs you. If communication problems persist and you cannot overcome them with these measures, ask a psychotherapist for advice, in order to find out if you need to worry or not.
Have you had problems communicating with your child? How did you deal with them? Tell us your tips in the comments section below!
Tags Communication problems for children Communication for parents of children